Article by Mel Ulle

Do you recall when your mom used to nag you about saying “please” and “thank you?” She wasn’t trying to keep you from being a massive embarrassment. She was preparing you to win at life. Those two little words, “thank you,” are secret weapons in the armory of human relations. They’re a social lubricant, but without the awkward consequences of actual lubricant. Gross, and I’m sorry.

In the workplace, “thank you” is the Grand Puba of social tactics. It will transform a grumpy boss into a less grumpy boss, turn a co-worker’s frown upside down, and even make the printer feel appreciated…Nope, screw you, printer. I won’t say thank you when you only work 25% of the time. 

But seriously, expressing gratitude boosts morale, increases productivity, and creates a positive atmosphere and there are countless studies to back me up on this.

I bring all of this up because I have observed, for decades, a friend’s child walking through life without acknowledging others. Particularly at restaurants, which brings me to the service industry. These brave souls deal with the public all day, every day. If that’s not deserving of a medal, I don’t know what is. Saying “thank you” to your barista, your server, busser, or the person who just spent 20 minutes helping you find the perfect shade of “rose” (which is entirely different from pink) can make their day worth suffering through.

These are people, not bots, handling your food, fixing your car, or cutting your hair. Though, I do find myself thanking Siri. As a former employee pointed out, AI will eventually be our overlord, so it’s better to be polite just in case. 

But all this seeps into our personal lives. Saying “thank you” to friends and family is the world’s cheapest insurance policy to make sure we don’t die alone or get eaten by our pets. Thanking your partner for landscaping the backyard, your friend for listening to your rant about your neighbor’s conspiracy theories, or your mom for… well, absolutely everything, strengthens bonds and makes people feel valued. 

Here’s a fun experiment. Try saying “thank you” to everyone you interact with for a day. Watch as people’s faces light up, confusion sets in (“Why is this person so polite? Are they feeling okay?”), and the world becomes a slightly better place. You might even start a chain reaction of gratitude. Before you know it, the whole city is thanking each other, productivity soars, we all get rich and world peace is achieved. You get the idea.

Please allow me to share a personal anecdote that really drives this point home. A couple months back, I was working with a nonprofit client on a challenging project during a particularly chaotic time for the organization. We were constantly having to shift focus, deal with an ever-changing budget and react to various working styles. The stress levels were through the roof. It felt like the group was constantly putting out fires and barely keeping our heads above water.

One particularly grueling day, I decided we needed to pause and sincerely thank the nonprofit’s leader for her patience and dedication. I had a colleague from my company send the leader, our client, a floral arrangement acknowledging her hard work. I didn’t think much of it at the time – it just felt like the right thing to do.

To my surprise, this simple act of appreciation completely transformed our working relationship. About a week later I received a long email from the client. She said that she needed it and that she had paid the gesture forward.

What could have been a difficult client relationship blossomed into a long-term partnership. All because of a heartfelt “thank you” in a moment of shared struggle. It goes to show that gratitude isn’t polite – it’s transformative.

It’s the trick for improving relationships, boosting moods, and making the world a little bit nicer. With that, I encourage you to go forth and wrap everyone in your life with gratitude. Really rub their faces in it. Your mom will be proud, your co-workers will be happier, and who knows? Maybe that printer will finally stop jamming. Lies – it will never stop jamming.

Thank you for reading this article and thank you to Urban Life Wash Park for their willingness to print it. (See what I did there?)

Read Melanie Ulle’s monthly Making a Difference Articles at Urban Life Wash Park.

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